So, let me teach you something...
Being compelled to be humble is NOT FUN. Let me explain why I'm telling you this.
Last week I had a really rough experience and that was a moment when everything in my life flipped upside down. It was then that I finally realized how prideful I had actually been. I never realized what I was doing until that moment. The next few days were some of the hardest days for me on my mission. The Lord was really humbling me and I thought that He would say, you messed up and you need to feel some of the punishment to help you, and then I'd be sad and feel guilty for a little bit and then by the end of the day be fine. Nope. That's definitely not what happened. For the next two and half days I felt like throwing up and I was seriously feeling the weight of what I've done by being prideful. It was so difficult. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry for the entire time, but I couldn't because I needed to go and work.
After studying so many different Ensign articles from General Conference and studying the scriptures and praying for help and forgiveness like I've never prayed before, I finally was able to feel relief. I'm coming out of this understanding, at least a little better, what it means to be humble. I've been trying for the past few days to focus on helping others and about what the LORD needs me to do, and what the LORD wants the people to know, not what I want to tell people. When I talked to people I would always try to think of situations that I was in to help them. That's good and all, but the best and most effective thing would have been to think of things the Savior said, in scriptures and through the prophets, that would have helped the most. That's what I've been trying to do now and it is helping me to understand better what my purpose is as a missionary. It's brought me such joy that, just like Alma said in Alma 36, nothing could have been so exquisite and bitter as my pain, and nothing could have been so exquisite, sweet and wonderful as my joy.
Being compelled to be humble is not a pleasant experience and it never will be. But it is so worth it that I will gladly take it over never knowing I was being prideful. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be humbled by the Lord because that means He loves me and wants me to do better and NEEDS me to do better because I'm supposed to help people out here. He can't have me goofin off and not focusing on what I'm supposed to do.
So, why am I sharing this with you? Because we learn in the Bible that he who has been warned should warn his neighbor. If you've ever read the talk "Beware of Pride" by President Ezra Taft Benson, read it again. If you've never read it, read it. Because it was that talk that helped me to start choosing to be humble. There are two things in that talk that stick out to me right now:
"The Lord will have a humble people" and "Let us choose to be humble"
Let us all (that includes me, too) choose to be humble, because being compelled to be humble by the Lord is not pleasant, and that we will all feel the joy that comes from knowing the Lord is pleased with us, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Elder Ricky-dude
P.S. The Church is true!
P.P.S. FROG - Fully Rely On God
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